May 2, 2005
So, I am hanging back out in Lima. I just got back from Trujillo where I moved 17 bags to Huaraz via bus. Now, now… I know that sounds like a lot but the PC Coordinator from Cajamarca said to just send it all, so I did. I even sent my new bike. It was a bit difficult to go back to Trujillo. Since the YMCA hadn’t heard from us in weeks, they were eagerly waiting official information. I gave my new boss the official El Milagro tour, complete with sites of the landfill, jail, and latrines way passed being over-filled. Since, I had to leave little Kanela in the hands of two friends, I am going to pick her up and return to finish saying goodbye once I get settled in my new site.
I have been crocheting. I have completed 3 scarves, 1 hat, and a table-runner (shawl gone wrong!). I just bought green yarn for a blanket. I find such joy in actually making articles to wear and use with my own hands. It’s extremely therapeutic and relieves stress as well.
I head to Huaraz tomorrow night to meet my new Peace Corps destiny.
April 24, 2005
I have spent the entire day hanging out with my new APCD and site mate in Lima. We got up late and cooked an elaborate breakfast of French toast, cantaloupe, and coffee. We discussed our hopes for our new sites. I see myself helping CARE by working in the office in Huaraz a couple of days a week, then finding other children’s activities (orphanages, clubs, schools) on my own the other couple of days a week. I can tell that we are opening up more and more with our APCD and her with us. I admitted to being the ‘high-maintenance’ one of the group. I like my shopping, pedicures, and imported products as frequently as possible. If there is a modern convenience available, I will take it. Our APCD, a very positive individual, has filled her new space with optimistic energy cards and photos of her family and she loves to sing.
In the afternoon, we took a taxi a few blocks downtown where we encountered this crazy little park, a miniature Six Flags. It was complete with a tiny train where you could ride to see the whole park. I got a 10 minute massage while they ate desserts. We finally got around to heading to the grocery store around 2:00 to buy some needed household supplies.
For dinner, we had a huge salad (lettuce and all the veggies you could imagine) and spaghetti with meat sauce. My site mate impressed us by making a sweet-potato pie from scratch. With our bellies full, we watched the end of Star Wars, dubbed in Spanish, on TV.
The last couple of days have been just like today – lots of food, conversation, and relaxation. It has been a great respite from the stressors of volunteer life.
April 21, 2005
I made it to Lima super-early this morning. I went directly to my new APCD’s house and she made us a great breakfast of omelets and yogurt. Then she pretty much dropped the bomb – big changes in Trujillo. They are moving us?! The results from the investigation proved what we have known all along, Trujillo (especially our sites) are too dangerous for volunteers. My site mate and I will be moved to Ancash, a rural mountainous town about 8 hours by bus from Trujillo. She said we would be working with CARE, an NGO, and living about 45 minutes outside of the city of Huaraz. There are around 30 volunteers serving in Ancash, big change from my being one of two in Trujillo.
At the Peace Corps Office, my site mate and I was the subject of many meetings. We learned that we would stay in Lima until next Wednesday, then go to Trujillo for our things on Thursday, head back to Lima on Friday, then by the next week be in our new sites, where ever those are. Site development for our communities has yet to be done. In fact, my APCD is open to ideas and has encouraged me to investigate further options for me in these towns near Huaraz. I have been on the phone all day talking with volunteers in that area to see what they think of the areas. A couple of the volunteers say working with CARE is unstructured at best and the sites are very rural – latrines and conservative Indian villages. My hope is to actually be placed inside the capital city, Huaraz. I can work with CARE in their regional office, visit the small villages with other CARE workers, but have the luxuries a city can provide – hot water and internet.
April 20, 2005
I woke up this morning to “Meez Leez” wafting up to my window. The calling of my name came from my host mother downstairs alerting me to a visitor. She is so cute because she uses the English title “Miss” with my Peruvian nickname “Liz” and it comes out rhyming. My visitor was the president of the bike club wanting my signature on a document that we are presenting to the municipality to formalize the new club. They have wanted me to be on the executive board of the club, I am hoping it is just for a little added influence and not for what they think they might can receive monetarily. I satisfy my preoccupation with the fact that I can deal with it, if and when, that problem arises. For now, I enjoy being a part of the group and riding on Sundays.
I stopped by a new gym to get their prices, pretty cheap for a month, only 60 soles.
I leave for Lima at 10:00 p.m.
April 19, 2005
Now it’s time for damage control. I had to come back to Trujillo for a meeting with a Peace Corps guy who was coming to investigate my site mate’s community and to do a workshop with other volunteers in El Milagro. Also, I was able to carry Nela with me to Cajamarca (she was a little angel on the bus!) but wouldn’t be able to take her with me to Lima per Peace Corps regulations.
At work, everyone had a ton of questions about the robbery, our vacation, and what is really going on. I explained the best I could, getting upset yet again, and told them I would be going to Lima for further conversations with Peace Corps. The workshop with the kiddies went well; that’s something positive.
After I leave work, YMCA Director calls me to demand why someone from Peace Corps is in my site mate’s room and wants to hear something from Peace Corps Lima immediately. So, I call an APCD to request that they call the director and explain what is going on – I really didn’t know either. I happen to run into my director a little later in town where she gives me an earful - I find many of the things that she says are completely true. She feels, since January, communication with Peace Corps has conked out. That the least she can do as our counterpart is help in situations like an assault/robbery but she has to be informed first. I told her that our new APCD had just arrived this week and from now on I feel that things will get better. I hope so, for both of our sakes.
My meeting with the Peace Corps dude was cancelled. He says he has meetings scheduled and won’t be able to meet with me like earlier planned. I was super curious what he had found out about my site mate’s community (not my business, really) but was hoping to hear something anyway. I will have to wait until I get to Lima.
April 18, 2005
It has been a strange couple of days.
To recap on what has been going on, I took a quick little vacation over the weekend (with permission from Peace Corps of course) to Cajamarca to clear my mind of some things going on in my site. I have been pretty bummed out of late and it is slowing entering my consciousness what is actually happening. It is so strange how your mind and body can block from you what is really happening and you can’t identify what is really the source of your stress. I have just been super depressed lately and unable to identify the real source of it all. I have been thinking that the main problem is that I don’t have any other volunteers close to my site for me to visit. I have to ask permission every time I want to leave and to me that doesn’t seem fair when other volunteers are in clusters of 20-30 volunteers and can see their friends whenever they want. So, I ventured to Cajamarca and I hung with other volunteers and you know what I realize? They are feeling the same way as me – bummed out, depressed, unenergetic, unmotivated to start new projects, etc., etc. It was almost eerie to hear the similarities in our situations. And they are wishing that they didn’t have so many volunteers around, that every time they go to the post office they run into another volunteer, in every restaurant, all over town, there are tons of volunteers. So, it seems that the other side of the river isn’t as green as I thought it was…
Another facet to the vacation to Cajamarca has to do with my site mate. Last Sunday, she was robbed and assaulted a block from her house. It was around midnight and she was returning from visiting with me. She says these two known trouble-makers were hanging out on her corner and two watchmen were chilling on the other. What a surprise when the two troublemakers start to harass her, grab her bags while punching and kicking her, and throw her to the ground. She says she screamed and screamed but nobody helped her. The watchmen later stated they were also threatened with a knife and were afraid to help her. After her report to Peace Corps, they sent her on a mandatory vacation in order to investigate the situation. So, we both headed to Cajamarca to think and get our heads straightened out.
I was relaxing in my hostel room in Cajamarca and I received a phone call from my new boss in Lima, the new APCD. She is just starting her first day as the new director of our Young Development Project. We have been without an APCD since January; our previous boss (who rocked!) left for a better PC job in another country. She is surprised to find me in Cajamarca, in fact, seems angry with me. After we hang up, I am shocked! I am supposed to be chilling out, getting my head in gear, strengthening my emotional health (on the advice of PC) and my new boss calls to demand why I am out of my site. Where is this supportive Peace Corps environment that they like to brag about? So, I call the secretary at Peace Corps (she had set up my plans to leave) crying because at this point tiny things are throwing me for loops. She explains that my APCD had not read her email from the weekend where it explains that I have permission to be in Cajamarca. She makes me feel better and we ended up talking for a half hour; she is a life-saver.
My APCD called back and explains better what happened – my YMCA Director in Trujillo had called Peace Corps and demanded to know why my site mate and I were getting switched to work in Cajamarca. Unfortunately, she hadn’t heard about my site mate’s robbery/assault, so that doubly complicated the situation. We thought we had sufficiently alerted our counterparts by telling our work centers that we were traveling to Cajamarca because of Peace Corps instructions. Seems the grapevine began to work and our big boss concluded that we were never coming back?! As my APCD is explaining all this, I get angry. I haven’t heard a thing from Peace Corps about my site and/or my work in months, like nobody gives a rip until forced to deal with it – a call from a big-wig Peruvian counterpart. So, I spill the beans, so to speak, and tell her how abandoned, isolated I have felt in my site. I have written emails to Peace Corps but receive answers that don’t make sense because the people there have never visited El Milagro and don’t understand the reality of what I do in Trujillo. That the huge gap in communication and neglect, coupled with isolation from other volunteers has put a toll on me and I need some support. I am tired of swimming solo. She suggests a meeting with my site mate and me in Lima on Thursday where we will discuss everything with the country director of Peace Corps as well.
So, all and all I felt better after the call from my APCD. I said things to her that I didn’t even realize I was feeling, like my head had been blocking what my gut had been trying to tell me for months. I find that I take my stress out on things that are not really the source of my anxiety and it all gets confused in my head. Oh, the things I keep learning about myself!
April 13, 2005
I stayed up till 2:00 am last night just bumming around my room, so I slept till almost noon today. After some coffee, I went for a bike ride around town. You know, all the ridiculous cat calls make me want to punch something. Here I am, unbathed, hair in a ponytail, sweating my head off, and some old Peruvian guys calls out from the corner, “Oh, my God!”, in English. Why can’t they just leave me alone? I am not bothering them; they could have the same respect.
I spent a couple of hours in the internet cabina working on some things for work. I have been designated the official volunteer organizer for YMCA – El Milagro and Otra Cosa. We have 2 German volunteers, 2 Holland volunteers, and one from Switzerland – we have grown! We’ve come to the conclusion that we need meetings, contracts, and obligations for the volunteers. So, I have been busy getting all the documents together. Tomorrow, we meet for the first time here at my house.
My laptop is on the blink – a big virus. It won’t allow me to get online, says there is a connection, but no pages open. I have downloaded four new antiviruses, but nothing is helping.
April 5, 2005
Today has been trying, mentally at least. We started the PDM workshop in Huaraz. It’s all group work, with as much experience as I have had working in groups, I still am becoming somewhat exasperated with mine. It seems that a couple of our members are always right, that all themes point to them and their work. I am comforting myself with the knowledge that my presence and subtlety is helping to point to everyone’s importance and worthiness.
Speaking with others from my training group here, it seems we are all feeling the same way about our service to this point. We are full of negatively and boredom. ‘What the heck are we doing here?’ is a common question.
April 2, 2005
Wow. I haven’t journaled in nearly a month. I have got to improve. Let’s see if I can catch up on these last week’s events.
I headed to Lima on the 15th for a couple of reasons. One was to give a presentation to big-wigs from the United States Embassy. I prepared a PowerPoint and (although I am sure I had grammatical errors) gave the entire thing in Spanish with no cue cards. I have to say -- I did well too! Like Dolly Partin always says, “You gotta toot your own horn, so everybody will know you’re coming.”
I also had to attend the Volunteer Advisory Committee meeting. It was interesting to finally meet some of the new faces in the Peace Corps office and hear their opinions about what is going on with Peace Corps Peru. Of course, I had the opportunity to meet up with other volunteers and just chill in the capital city. We ate in ritzy restaurants and enjoyed the night life.
As well, I was able to visit the YMCA programs there. I went to a Health campaign in a poor part of town and kinda served as medical receptionist for the morning. I found many similarities to El Milagro there: extreme poverty, no water, no electricity, no sewage, and trash littering the streets and in between houses. I also went to two youth group meetings with a group of German YMCA volunteers. It was really cool how they let the groups lead themselves instead of facilitating the meeting. Their positive morale and enthusiasm was very contagious.
On the 22nd, I picked my mom up at the airport at 1:45 am. What a crazy feeling to actually have Mom here in Peru with me. (Check back for Mom's journal entries of our times together in Peru -- to be added here soon!)
