Sunday, November 21, 2004

Mom's Workshop

November 19, 2004
Great news! I get to leave my site for Thanksgiving to celebrate with other volunteers in another department. I was hesitant about asking my boss in Lima about permission to leave, but turns out, he is very cool and understanding. So, I am thinking about heading to Ancash, land of jeweled lakes and sparkling-white mountain peaks.

I gave a dental health workshop to my kiddies today in El Milagro. My head was busting by the time I got finished. It was crazy – there were about 20 of those little hellions. It took me 15 minutes just to get them rounded up and every 5 I had to pull someone off the top of the table or stop a fist fight. All and all it was successful and they learned the types of food that you should eat for healthy teeth. The next session we are actually going to practice brushing our teeth. It should be a fun time for everyone.

I had an interesting conversation today about ethics in the universities here. I learned that most all professors are corrupt and accept bribes to pass students when they are failing. In fact, many professors fail students to supplement their income. Also, students can be enrolled in a class but never show up for class, pay the professor at the end of the semester, and pass. How many professionals out there paid their way through the university and never actually got an education?

November 15, 2004
I received an email today from PC, confirming we can’t leave our departments for Thanksgiving. This means no trip to Huanchaco for my group. All that searching for a place to stay for nothing! At least now I know the best places to stay when I venture to the beach. Technically, my group could still come to Huanchaco, but it wouldn’t be legal and we could get into trouble with PC. I am extremely sad to know that I won’t be able to spend Turkey Day with my fellow Americans. Here in Trujillo, we have only 2 volunteers, me and my site mate. In other departments, there are as many as 40. Most of the time, I appreciate being the only volunteer here, but when the day calls for celebration like Thanksgiving, I wish we had more volunteers.

November 14, 2004
My site mate and I went to a professional soccer game today in the big stadium in Trujillo. We had a good time! The fans (mostly men) go crazy for soccer here, making noise, raising banners, throwing smoke bombs, and running around without their shirts.

All of the YMCA staff met for pizza for my birthday tonight. The pizza was a bit meager, but there was ample sangria.

November 13, 2004
Today is my 25th birthday. When I was around 11-12 years old, I remember thinking that by this age I would have the ‘American Dream’, a great job, a loving husband, and a couple of kids. Boy, am I behind schedule. I am still holding out for my dream but not quite ready yet.

It’s hard to be away from home on holidays and days like today. I find myself thinking about what I would be doing if I was at home. I would be surrounded by my loved ones, enjoying a meal or two together, and birthday cake. My day hasn’t been so different here, so I wonder why I feel the melancholies. I think it is because I don’t feel the affection that just comes so naturally from being with friends of ole and family that just love you as you are.

We celebrated in El Milagro with a lunch of Ahi de la Gallina (bread pudding with chicken over rice), singing happy birthday (first in English then in Spanish), and with a delicious chocolate cake.

Later in the evening, my site mate and I watched “Bourne Supremacy” at the cinema, a good ending to my special day.

November 11, 2004
Boy, what it takes for a self-sufficient, open-minded, independent woman to make it in this society. Not only am I learning how to make it such a ‘machismo’ culture, but they are learning how to put up with me. I think I baffle my family (and probably my counterparts) at my audaciousness. To an American, it is normal things – jogging in the mornings, buying furniture, going into Trujillo or Huanchaco alone. I could go on and on. To a Peruvian, it’s just unheard of to have a woman who does as she pleases (without the consent of a male like her father, brother, husband) and makes her own decisions.

November 9, 2004
I went with my counterpart to Porvenir, another poor part of Trujillo, to continue our psychological study. We gave tests to 2 classrooms of high school seniors. I continue to learn more about what kind of investigation we are actually doing. We are testing the ‘emotional intelligence’ levels of these kids and its correlation with personality. What that means in laymen’s terms is that we are handing out surveys to 16 year olds about 'how you think you are' that take around 2 hours to complete.

In comparison to how studies are conducted in the states, this one is turning out to be very different. Different in that none of the rules that we have to go by at home apply here. We don’t need parental permission, the kids have to put their name on each survey (not anonymous), and they are rushed to complete the surveys on time. It seems illogical to me; we are skewing the results with how the test is administered. I have mentioned a few of my doubts to my counterpart, but she just says that is how it is done here, so I am not sure there is much more I can do.

I am having a good time hanging out with my counterpart on a more casual level. After work, we went into Trujillo together ate a good meal and shopped for fruit and sandals.

November 5, 2004
My English class was great this morning. I realize that I have developed a certain confidence in my job responsibilities as a volunteer. I am excited about doing new projects, new workshops, and new classes for both the kids and teenagers. At first, I had an overwhelming sense of incompetence, like I just wasn’t going to be able to do a good job. Now, (after some practice) I know that I am doing some great work with the families of El Milagro. I find that I am comfortable in front of groups, I sing with all my might for my kiddies, and I can’t wait for my next chance to work with them.

In the afternoon, a Peace Corps employee from Cajamarca came to give a workshop on raising guinea pigs to our families. While he was busy talking to the moms, my counterpart and I took the kids to the basketball court to play Charades and Duck, Duck, Goose (really it was to keep the noise down for the workshop in the center).

I picked my laundry up from the laundry mat after work. I haven’t been up to washing all my clothes by hand lately. I have been taking them into Trujillo for a real washing. I have to say it makes me smile to put on clothes that have really been washed. I figure in circumstances as these you have to do what makes you happy, so even though it’s a little expensive, I will lug my clothes to the cleaners.

November 2, 2005
Well, the elections didn’t come out as I had hoped. But I did predict that Bush would end up winning. Most volunteers are definitely disappointed, including me. Life goes on.

I showed up at our center around 3:30, the designated time for my last session with the moms on self esteem. I welcomed only three mothers. By 4:00, a couple more had trickled in, and finally at 4:30 we had eight moms, enough to get started. Punctuality is not considered very important – usually this is right up my alley, because I am always late.

My knees were shaking a bit as I stood before the circle of tired, unsmiling faces. Some nodded, others napped, or nursed their babies as I began with a customary “good afternoon” to all. Gathering my strength and my Spanish-speaking confidence, I explained to the mothers that we were going on a “trip”. We are venturing far away to a huge forest, where many beautiful and strange plants and creatures live. It’s going to be a long trip, I said, so we better go prepared. I handed a roll of toilet paper to the first mom and asked that she take as much as she thinks she will need for our vacation. Unaccustomed to having toilet paper, she immediately smells the roll and exclaimed to the others its fresh fragrance. She slowly took her amount and prettily folded it in her hands. The other mother’s continued in the fashion of the first, each appreciating the soft, white paper.

I continued with my story stating that our toilet paper won’t be used in the customary way, but in a very important manner. Each square of paper will represent something good or positive about each of us. I could tell that a few of the mothers did not really understand, so I gave my own examples. I told them I am a good English teacher and I like to play sports as I tear off each square. The first mom didn’t want to separate each of her toilet paper squares (she felt it was wasteful), but was encouraged by the group to do so and continued in saying she was a good mother, a good worker, and liked to play volleyball. Each mom in succession shared her likes and positive aspects. A couple of the moms began with ‘I don’t know’, but with encouragement from the group realized they too had personal strengths.

We soon continued our “trip” and encountered a very special tree in the forest, the “identitree” (a drawing of a tree with many people doing different actions) which I had drawn on a huge poster. When I asked for their first impressions, one mother said it was the “tree of life”. She elaborated that at some point in time, you feel like you are each one of the characters, and once you reach the top of the tree you are complete. I thought to myself that was a very insightful response. I asked the group to find a character that they identify with right now, today. Each mom explained her choice and some even described where their family members could be found. Many said that they were under the shoulders of their children, holding up the family; while others said they were on the tree, climbing higher and higher each day. Only one mother said she was the lonely, angry one way out on the limb.

As we approach the conclusion of our trip, we stumbled upon a huge “web of appreciation”, where we constructed a web by passing a ball of string to someone in the circle after telling them something you like about them. Looking their group members right in the eye, each mom told of the many wonderful qualities and thanked each other for her friendship. Each mom continued on until our web was complete. I was amazed at the ease in which they could sing the praises of their neighbors. One mom looked around the circle and exclaimed that we were all connected in the web, just as we are connected in our friendships and love for one another.

With applause for all those who attended the session, we adjourned. As everyone was leaving the center, one mom stopped and with a huge smile on her face gave me a big hug and thanked me for bringing a little bit of cheerfulness to the center.

I have learned that the need to be loved, appreciated, and connected, not to mention the delight in having a little bit of fun, can be found in everyone. It transcends cultures, ages, social classes, and languages.

October 29, 2004
I have had the croop for a couple of days now. I just keep coughing and coughing. I thought if you took vitamins, you weren’t supposed to be susceptible to illness -- old wives tale, I guess. Because of my sickness, I have taken a break from running. I look forward to getting back to it – hopefully tomorrow I will feel up to it.

In the afternoon, I had my workshop with the mother’s group. It went so well today! Having not really worked with groups of adults before, this has been especially challenging for me. Today I felt like I was in my element – back to my confident, competent self. This was my second session in a series of 3 self esteem workshops. Before my first session last week, I didn’t sleep for 2 days. I was worried sick, mostly about my lack of Spanish fluency. I did a satisfactory job on the first session. However for today’s activities, I just prepared properly, practiced my Spanish, relaxed, and went with my gut. It turned out to be the right combination. Not only did I feel good about the activities, but the mothers said that they enjoyed it too.

October 26, 2004
I enjoyed a night of glitz and glimmer amidst Trujillo’s finest. My site mate and I went to the theater for The Bohemian, an opera. Not only was the show good, but the people watching we did from the balcony section was spectacular. We saw a man dressed in a white suit, complete with white hair, white beard, white shoes and a cane. He could have passed for the Colonel, as in Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Colonel. All the women were coiffed and lacquered, draped in wraps, and prancing in heels. Our seats weren’t the greatest – we had to lean over the balcony – but the experience was noteworthy, for sure. Afterwards, we headed to a cafĂ© for a cappuccino and ice cream. There are some definite perks to living in the city.

October 25, 2004
I ran this morning as usual. The exercise is so great for me and I am thoroughly enjoying it, not to mention I have dropped a few pounds.

My counterpart asked me to be a part of an investigation that she and a friend are conducting. Not really understanding what I was getting into, I attended our first meeting in the library of a private university, El Vallejo. It seems that they want to conduct a research study of 3 schools in Trujillo and publish the results in a psychology magazine here in Peru. I am not really sure why they wish to include me. At first, I thought it was just to be nice, so I would feel included. But now, I think it may be for other reasons, like because I am a ‘psychologist’. Which brings me to an interesting point -- Peruvians believe you are what you study. Since I studied psychology in college, then I am a psychologist, regardless if I have a master’s and/or PhD. They get very hung up on these titles as well. Only a psychologist can do what has to do with psychology, only a teacher can teach, etc. It is extremely frustrating coming from the states where a college diploma means you have a higher education and that doesn’t make you an expert in any particular area. Often our fields overlap as well. For example, a historian might make a very good social worker or an English major might make a great loan officer. It depends upon your skills, experience, and interests. Here none of that matters; you do what you have studied.

As for their beliefs about psychology, at times, I feel like the general public believes psychologists are ‘mind readers’ and work with ‘magic’. I have even met some psychologists here who would be quick to say they can ‘read minds’. There is a particular test that all psychologists use here in Trujillo, where they have children draw their family. The psychologists ‘interpret’ these drawings for a definition of the child. For example, short arms means that the child suffers from anxiety, etc. I am sure that this type of analyses may be true in some cases, but here they believe it to be 100% correct and that the child’s makeup is as they have drawn. I have tried to explain that we consider these tests theories, not absolutions. It’s truly a fascinating culture.

October 23, 2004
A group of kids from Huarmey, a city 4 hours south of Trujillo on the way to Lima, came to visit our program in El Milagro. These kids are child workers; they sell food on the streets, shine shoes, or simply beg for money.

Incredibly musically inclined, the kids gave us a concert of Andean music -- complete with Andean instruments and singing. Each kid knew how to play all instruments and frequently they would switch with each other, but never miss a beat. It was a very beautiful experience for me. They may be child laborers who have a very limited childhood, but they created such beauty with their music.

Child labor is a heartbreaking reality in this country. On every corner, in every combi, in all establishments, you see kids working. Working as if they were adults, most have a worldly, streetwise facade that is quite eerie. You see kids of about 11-12 years giving orders on the combis and bargaining with buyers on the streets. Have they ever had a rightful childhood? Will they ever?